Meet the Founder
My personal story
I am Fem, i’m 53 years old and I live in Oudehaske, a small village in Friesland, the Netherlands, together with my husband, our dog, and six very sweet cats. We live in what I truly consider my dream home, a detached house with open fields behind it. It feels like living out in the countryside, while we’re actually right in the middle of the village. That balance of peace and connection fits me perfectly.
I love being at home. I enjoy spending time behind my computer, building ideas, learning new things, and shaping concepts into something tangible. I love cooking, I’m always curious to keep learning through courses and new skills, and I’ll happily admit that I can completely lose myself in overly romantic Christmas movies. I’ve made peace with that, they’re simply part of who I am.
People who know me well would probably describe me as kind, helpful, and, as I like to say myself, pleasantly unconventional.
Comfort before anything else
Clothing has always played a practical and emotional role in my life. For me, it has never been about fashion in the traditional sense, it’s about how something feels. At home, I’m happiest in a comfortable lounge outfit with my slippers on. When I go out, I like to dress neatly and thoughtfully, without being overdressed.
I gravitate toward wide-leg trousers, my black-and-white western boots, long tops, and especially long, warm, soft cardigans. Clothes you can move in. Breathe in. Live in.
Today, I generally feel comfortable in what I wear, but that hasn’t always been the case. There were periods in my life when I didn’t have much money for clothing and simply had to work with what I had. And there were times when comfort wasn’t even the main struggle, feeling like myself was.
Becoming myself
Truly being myself is something I’ve only experienced for the past sixteen years, since the very first day I met my husband. Before that, I always felt like I had to hide parts of who I was. Perhaps because of my past, perhaps because of insecurity, but for a long time, I felt like I couldn’t fully exist as me.
You could say that through my husband, I found myself again. Or maybe, for the first time.
When fashion began to feel wrong
Years ago, I started to notice that fashion didn’t really work for me. Finding clothing that felt right often meant visiting countless stores, hoping to stumble upon that one piece that finally felt comfortable and true. And the reality is: you don’t always have the time or energy for that.
What I missed most was calm. Simplicity. Clothing without overwhelming patterns. When you wear a larger size, you quickly end up surrounded by florals, dots, and stripes, and honestly, I don’t always find that beautiful. I’m not a Christmas tree. Sometimes you simply want something clean, elegant, and quiet.
Around seventeen years ago, my self-image and confidence were almost nonexistent. Clothing doesn’t define who you are, but wearing something that doesn’t feel right can certainly reinforce insecurity.
And fitting rooms? I’ve never understood them. They’re often tiny, exposed, uncomfortable, curtains that don’t close properly, doors with large gaps underneath. I once stood in a fitting room where the door hovered half a meter above the floor. There’s nothing better than trying things on at home, on your own time, in your own space.
The beginning of an idea
About three or four years ago, something started to stir, a feeling that something needed to exist, even though I didn’t yet know what. Around the middle of last year, everything began to take shape. The moment I subscribed to Shopify, things shifted. From that point on, I was constantly building, adjusting, refining, starting again. And now, there is a solid foundation.
From the beginning, I knew exactly what I didn’t want to create. I never wanted to build something where women feel excluded or unseen. I believe everyone should be able to belong here. Especially with the expansions that are still to come, it matters deeply to me that women feel welcome, even involved, rather than judged or sidelined.
Why I don’t follow trends
Trends come and go. But how someone feels in clothing is far less flexible. Something that feels wonderful today can still feel wonderful years from now, even when the trend itself has long disappeared.
Fashion should never dictate when you stop loving something.
What I hope women feel when they first discover Femme Simplicity is simple:
“This is what I’ve been looking for.”
A sense that someone is finally listening, not following trends blindly, but responding to real needs.
How I look at women
When I look at women in clothing, I naturally notice how something fits,but what I pay attention to most is the eyes and body language. You can tell immediately whether someone feels at ease in what they’re wearing. That tells you far more than a mirror ever could.
What I often miss in the fashion industry is attention for the person. The focus tends to be on trends, numbers, and mass appeal, rather than on the woman who actually wears the clothes.
To me, elegance is standing in front of the mirror and being able to say to yourself:
Look at you. Beautiful woman.
Curating, custom, and choice
I don’t design clothing myself, and that’s a conscious choice. Curating feels honest to me. I select pieces with care and intention. Perhaps one day I’ll learn to design; I’d love that. But for now, I’m completing my Fashion Styling diploma this year. One step at a time.
Custom design felt like a natural extension. I’ve worked with custom products for years, from mugs to curtains to shirts, but I never truly found my place in it. Now, it finally makes sense. How powerful is it when someone loves the shape of a dress but dislikes the color or pattern, and is able to choose something that genuinely reflects who she is?
That is listening.
That is creating space.
Why WannaBe Wedding Exists
There is one collection within Femme Simplicity that comes from a very personal place: WannaBe Wedding.
When my husband and I got married, I knew one thing for certain, I did not want to wear a traditional white wedding dress. I once tried one on, just for fun, and the feeling was immediate. I felt like a giant cream puff. All that was missing was a swirl of whipped cream on my head.
It wasn’t me. Not even close.
But then comes the next challenge: if you don’t want a classic bridal gown, where do you look? How do you find something that still feels special enough to get married in, without turning into someone you don’t recognize?
I ended up choosing a dress that wasn’t technically a wedding dress at all. It was black, fully lace, worn with a slip dress underneath. And with the right accessories, it suddenly became exactly what I wanted, elegant, personal, and completely me. It didn’t feel like a costume. It felt like getting married as myself.
That experience stayed with me.
Because finding something like that isn’t easy when you don’t know where to look. You have to see potential in pieces that aren’t labeled bridal. You have to imagine how the right accessories, fabrics, and silhouettes can transform a dress into a wedding outfit, without losing who you are in the process.
That’s why WannaBe Wedding exists.
It’s for women who don’t fit into the traditional bridal mold, and don’t want to. For women who want something different, something personal, something that feels right rather than expected. Dresses that may not be wedding dresses by definition, but absolutely can be wedding-worthy with the right styling.
This collection is about freedom. About choice. About redefining what a wedding look can be, whether that means black lace, soft neutrals, structured simplicity, or something entirely unexpected.
And just like the rest of Femme Simplicity, WannaBe Wedding will continue to grow. For both Core Elegance and Curved Elegance, this collection will be expanded carefully and thoughtfully, so more women can find an outfit that allows them to say yes, without compromising who they are.
Because getting married shouldn’t require becoming someone else.
It should simply allow you to show up as yourself. Beautifully & You.
Why the focus is on the USA
I’m often asked why my shop focuses entirely on the United States. And I’m honest about that.
I find the mindset of many Dutch female shoppers difficult. Everything needs to be as inexpensive as possible, while still demanding the highest quality. There is also a lot of negativity, judgment, criticism, and unnecessary conflict over small things.
I believe I can reach more women in the USA who are open to this philosophy. Women who want to build confidence, who allow themselves space, who are less focused on tearing each other down.
If everything goes well, I may one day explore offering Femme Simplicity in the Netherlands too. But for now, this feels like the right place to begin.
What drives me
What drives me goes far beyond building a website or developing ideas. Those are simply the visible parts of something much deeper. My true motivation lies in people, in women, in their stories, insecurities, resilience, and growth.
I’m deeply moved by how often women make themselves smaller than necessary. How often they doubt themselves, adjust, or feel they don’t fit into what fashion presents to them. Clothing can work against that, or it can gently support it. Because clothing is never just fabric. It affects how you see yourself, how you move, how much space you allow yourself to take up.
What gives me energy is knowing that Femme Simplicity can make a difference for someone. Sometimes in a big way, sometimes in a very small one. Perhaps it’s a woman who finally feels comfortable in what she’s wearing. Perhaps it’s someone who no longer feels the need to justify her choices. Or someone who simply thinks: here, I belong.
Building Femme Simplicity feels like creating a safe place. A place without judgment, without pressure, without urgency. A place where confidence can grow at a pace that feels right. Where style is not a performance, but a form of self-care.
Of course, I also enjoy the creative process itself. I can lose myself for hours in building the website, refining structures, adjusting details, and making everything feel just right. Ideas form, shift, evolve, usually accompanied by a very large cup of coffee.
What I find most challenging is waiting. When technology doesn’t cooperate. When the internet goes down just as everything starts flowing. When important emails take longer to arrive than you’d hoped. Patience is not always my strongest trait. But in those moments, I remind myself why I’m doing this.
Because when I look at where Femme Simplicity is heading, I know it’s worth it. With the foundations of the Core Elegance Shop, Curved Elegance Shop, and soon the Custom Elegance Shop, there is now something solid. A place where women can land, explore, and grow into themselves.
That is what drives me.
Not perfection. Not speed. But meaning.
One last thought
If I could leave one feeling behind, it would be this: confidence.
I hope women walk away thinking: Yes. I belong here.
And if someone ever doubts that, my answer is simple:
You belong.
No matter who you are, where you come from, how you look, what you believe, or who you love. No judgment. No hate. No bullying.
And those who bring that energy?
They’re simply in the wrong place.
Femme Simplicity is for women who take themselves seriously, and treat others with the same respect.